


Belonging

by citrinesunset



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Crushes, F/F, First Kiss, Friendship, Hero Worship, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citrinesunset/pseuds/citrinesunset
Summary: After Apocalypse, Jean befriends Ororo. And Ororo is smitten.





	Belonging

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jeanthememelover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeanthememelover/gifts).



A few days after Ororo decided to stay, Jean invited her to move into her room.

Ororo didn't know if it was right to accept. For one thing, she didn't know if she would be allowed to stay forever. The only way to deal with rejection, she'd found, was to anticipate it and make as few ties as possible. That had not worked out for her as well as she wanted to believe. She was still hungry for a home, and someone she could rely on, and that impulse had failed her more than it helped her.

She wouldn't blame these people for turning her away, after what she'd done. She wasn't interested in trying to explain herself. That was another way to deal with rejection: never let anyone else take responsibility for your choices.

But she was also in awe of Jean. She had been ever since she watched her help rebuild the mansion.

Ororo had watched her that day, able for the first time to take in and appreciate the sheer amount of power that Jean possessed. The mansion had been pieced back together so perfectly that if Ororo hadn't seen it with her own eyes, she wouldn't have believed it'd been destroyed.

Over the past few days, Ororo had observed a strange duality in Jean. The way she sat on her bed now, picking at a run in her tights while Ororo checked out the room, might have been the impression she was shy or lacking in confidence. Jean had barely said a word since they left Egypt, even once she was home and surrounded by her peers.

But there was a quiet confidence that came out when she used her power. Ororo wondered if the others, the ones who weren't there that day when she helped defeat En Sabah Nur, appreciated it.

It didn't frighten Ororo, but it intimidated her. 

"Are you sure about this?" Ororo asked. "Who did you share with before?"

Jean slipped her finger through the frayed threads. She was going to make the hole larger, but she didn't seem to care. "Actually...I didn't have a roommate before. I probably should have told you that. I get nightmares sometimes."

Ororo shrugged. "I don’t mind. It's not a big deal." She knew that when Jean spoke of nightmares, she probably didn't just mean tossing and turning in her sleep. But Ororo didn't care. She had scared people with her power at times, too.

Jean smiled, and appeared to relax.

 

* * *

 

The next day, Jean asked Ororo if she wanted to go to the mall.

"I was thinking you could probably use new clothes," she said.

Ororo had not left the grounds since she arrived. There was a lot to do at the mansion. The building itself might have been as good as new, but there was still furniture to put in place, books to put on the shelves, and other items to sort through. Ororo was glad to help. It wasn't exactly penance, but it felt right. And this place was so big that she was still learning her way around. She'd never been in a place like this before. There were so many trees, and she was particularly sensitive to the differences in the weather. It had rained that morning, and while the others huddled inside, Ororo was happy to walk the grounds and enjoy the misty rain on her face.

But she liked the idea of getting away for a while.

Still, there was a problem. "I don't have any money," she said with a shrug.

That had never stopped her before. But a good thief knew their environment, and Ororo was smart. Cautious. And besides, if she was going to stay, she didn't think she could be a thief any longer.

Jean looked unconcerned. "There's money for students. Sometimes the people who come here don't have a lot, so there's money for clothes. Stuff like that."

"And the teachers, they just give you money if you ask for it?"

"I mean, they'll let me have some if I say we need thing. Sure."

Ororo was tempted to ask if Jean meant that she would _make_ them give her some, with her power. Ororo still wasn't sure of the extent of Jean's telepathic abilities, but surely her powers were great enough that she could do something like this. But she sensed that Jean wouldn't want to talk about it.

An hour later, Ororo was looking out the passenger window of a car Jean borrowed from someone. Ororo didn't try to hide her interest in seeing the town.

"Trust me," Jean said, "the novelty will wear off. And trust me, if the Professor asks you to help chaperone a field trip for the younger students, be prepared for the worst. I never want to go to another museum after I graduate. If we want to really have fun, we should go into the city. See a Broadway show or something."

"I'd like that."

Jean glanced at her and smiled.

At the mall, they spent more time walking around, browsing, than they did shopping. Neither of them said much, but it was a companionable silence, and Jean seemed content to let Ororo take in her new surroundings.

She wondered why Jean was interested in spending time with her, but she didn't question it.

Once they finally got around to the purpose of their trip, Jean helped her sort through the racks of clothes. She'd pick out a shirt or pair of pants from the racks and hold it up to appraise it.

"This would work on you," she'd say. Or, "I think the yellow one suits you better."

By the end of the day, Ororo was tired. She sat back in the passenger seat as they drove home.

"How long have you been here?" Ororo asked.

"You mean at the school? A few years. My parents sent me here after my powers manifested. I was having trouble handling it then."

"And the teachers, they helped?"

Jean didn't answer right away. "The Professor's helped. I guess he understands more than anyone. But it's not like just because we're all mutants, we know what it's like to have each other's mutations. Or that people don't get scared when someone is capable of...." She stopped and glanced at Ororo. "I know you're looking for something. I hope this place gives it to you."

Ororo looked at her in surprise. She wasn't used to being around someone who could read her thoughts. Once the initial surprise passed, she was embarrassed. The way she'd been thinking about Jean earlier, about how impressive she was....

But if Jean had picked up on that, she didn't show it.

 

* * *

 

Weeks went by, and Ororo didn't know what to make of her new life. On the one hand, she envied the students. Despite everything that had happened, they were allowed to be young. They were cared for. She wondered what her life would have been like if the Professor had found her.

But that ship had sailed long ago, and Ororo thought it was too late for her to be one of these young people who put such faith in their teachers. She was not a student. She was a fighter.

Then, one day, Mystique cornered her in the library and said, "You. You're training with me."

Mystique didn't bother to elaborate, but Ororo was ready to accept whatever opportunity she had to offer. That opportunity, it turned out, was to be part of a new fighting team that was being put together—X-Men.

Ororo had been chosen. She felt the same warmth she'd felt when En Sabah Nur had chosen her, and when she'd thought he would make her a part of something bigger. She didn't want to make the same mistake again, placing her trust in something that wasn't what it seemed, in people who would not stand by her in the end. But she couldn't help herself. Not with her hero, Mystique, giving her this chance to prove herself. And not with Jean standing beside her in their new training room, her hair pulled back and her eyes intense and focused.

If anything, she wanted to impress Jean even more than she wanted to impress Mystique.

The day after training began, Magneto left. The Professor told Ororo this himself, calling her into his study to relay the news.

"I didn't want you to be surprised that he left without saying goodbye to everyone," he told her. "He meant no harm by it. It's just his way, I'm afraid."

He didn't say it directly, but Ororo knew why she'd been singled out for this announcement. She'd known Magneto. Fought beside him, albeit briefly. Honestly, she'd barely spoken to him since arriving in the States. All the same, it was another tie to her old life that was cut. She was here, now, for better or worse.

"I understand," she said. "He'd been your friend, yes?"

"Yes," the Professor said. "In a way, I believe he still is."

"Even though he betrayed you?"

"Over the years, I've come to appreciate the value of loyalty. And forgiveness, I suppose. To be a mutant is to be part of a very small community, really, and our power means both that we have great burdens placed on us and that our mistakes, when we make them, can be quite large. If I abandoned everyone who had ever made a mistake, who had ever hurt me, I'm afraid I wouldn't have many friends left."

It was the closest he'd come to acknowledging what happened in Egypt, and her role in it. 

She threw herself into her training, and didn't complain about how tiring it was to spend hours being attacked by a computerized room. Her powers were better-suited for open spaces, where she could fully command the elements. If they trained outside, she could really show the others what she was capable of. But she knew that if she complained, Mystique would merely point out that they should be ready for any environment. Any challenge.

And besides, Jean didn't complain. Jean approached the training with an intensity that only broke hours later, when she and Ororo retreated to their room to relax their tired muscles and minds. During these quiet hours, where they'd lie side by side and flip through magazines or talk about movies they'd seen and music they liked, Ororo wondered if this was what it felt like to be normal.

One evening, she found a scrapbook Jean had filled with magazine cutouts, mostly pictures of young male celebrities with shaggy hair.

Jean found her with it when she came back from taking a shower, and her eyes widened. The book closed on its own in Ororo's hands, and Ororo yelped in surprise.

"You said I could look through your books! What's the big secret?"

Jean took it from her. "It's not a secret. It's just a stupid thing I made last year. That's all." She shoved the scrapbook under her bed and gave it a nudge with her toe, hiding it fully from sight.

Jean's hair was wrapped in a towel. She removed it and started toweling off her hair.

"Have you had many boyfriends?" Ororo asked. The question immediately felt too personal, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.

But Jean just shrugged. "Not really. Probably fewer than you have."

Ororo scoffed. "Not likely."

Jean stopped drying her hair and looked up at her. "If you ask me, it's overrated. Most guys are really immature. And they use too much tongue when they kiss you."

Ororo smiled. "Are you're a good kisser, are you?"

"I guess."

"Of course you'd think so."

"I can read minds. I'd know if I wasn't."

"Then show me, then." 

Ororo was surprised she'd said it aloud. She didn't mean for Jean to actually do it. Jean looked surprised, too. But then, before Ororo could change the subject, Jean walked closer. She pushed her damp hair behind her ear and leaned in, her head tilted. She kissed Ororo softly on the lips. When she pulled back, her eyes were downcast and shy. She turned away. Ororo put her fingers to her lips.

She'd never been kissed before.

They didn't say anything more to each other before they went to bed.

 

* * *

 

Ororo awoke to her bed shaking. She shot up in bed, her nerves on edge from hours or training and years of looking out for herself. It wasn't just her bed—the other furniture in the room was also shaking, and Jean was writhing in her bed, breathing heavily.

Ororo got up and moved to her side, kneeling beside Jean's bed.

"Jean. Jean! Wake up."

She touched Jean's arm and immediately found herself shoved backward like a leaf in a gust of wind. She flew back against her own bed. The mattress cushioned the worst of the blow, but she still cried out.

Jean's eyes opened, and the shaking stopped. She pushed herself up on her elbows and looked around until she spotted Ororo, who was still crumpled on the floor. She looked confused at first, and then the horror dawned on her face.

"Ororo. Did I--?"

Ororo pushed herself to her feet and went back over to Jean. "It's fine," she said softly. "I'm not hurt. See?"

"I'm so sorry. I thought—I thought it was better, that this wouldn't happen again."

Ororo sat on her bed. "But you told me you had nightmares. I knew. It's okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

Jean looked at her and slowly shook her head. "No. It's okay. It's just...I don't know if I can go back to sleep."

"That's okay. We can talk, if you'd like." Ororo switched on the bedside lamp.

"At least it doesn't sound like anyone else woke up, this time."

Ororo smiled. "Then I guess it's a good thing you have me as a roommate."

Jean hugged her knees to her chest. "Do you ever feel like your power is bigger than you? That there's something in you that you can't control? I thought—I hoped it was just Apocalypse, but sometimes I still feel like there's something terrible in me."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean."

But she knew what it was like to be alone. This was not the Jean she'd seen so much in training, the one who always seemed so in control. So confident in her ability. This Jean seemed young, and human. 

"You get it better than most of them, though. Most people are afraid of me. Even after what happened with Apocalypse...the Professor, Mystique, they say I proved myself, but I didn't. I know the younger students are talking about what I did, and they still think it's terrifying because they have to live with me. And I like that you're not afraid. But maybe one day you will be."

Ororo shook her head firmly. "No. I'll never be afraid of you." She held Jean's hands. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met."

She sat beside Jean on the bed, and Jean rested her head against Ororo's.

This time, when they kissed, it was not awkward or uncertain. And Jean did not turn away.


End file.
